Tag: thatgirlwiththecleaver

Weekly Promotion

[[Ah geez, forgot to queue one in advance. Thank you for understanding the lateness. As for today’s promo, it goes to… @thatgirlwiththecleaver!

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This multimuse blog features a boozy muscular Oni, a cheerful tame-manipulating test tube baby, an ex-noble nerd, and a host of others as they adventure and bounce off each other. Expect bad puns on occasion, and for the muses to be rude at times. Hey, I consider those selling points!

In all seriousness, the mun (Clara, who also runs @alinkbetweenportraits and @odioussubconscious) is a very nice nerd, and her RP style is often hilarious with bits of seriousness thrown in. Now go! Give this blog a look!]]

Arz cracked his neck as he turned around to face the world. What he wasn’t expecting was the massive amount of property damage he had done in his moment of excitement. One of the springs from the trampoline had shattered the windshield of a nearby car, causing the alarm to blare obnoxiously. Cobblestone was tossed haphasrdly on the sidewalk, some of it striking a fire hydrant with the oni’s brute force. Water was pouring out of the end and spilling onto a street, washing some of the dirt spilled from Arz’s digging into the nearest flood drain. He stared at the disaster pensively until something horrific crossed his mind.

He doesn’t have this world’s currency.

Arz lifted the Repairman’s tool cart over his head with relative ease before looking down to the cartoon blob. 

“Let me tell ya Tinker, jail ain’t a place fer folks like yerself. And if ya don’t want a record ya best run like yer life depended on it! Cause it does!” The oni rushed off at a ridiculous speed, though this is mostly due to cartoon logic. By the time the dust settled, he was already down a couple blocks. He stopped and turned to see the Repairman, throwing a free arm up in exasperation. “What I gotta carry ya around? Hurry up, Tinker!”

All the Repairman could do is gawk in shock as the other grabbed his cart out of the blue and started to flee with it.

“Wha…what are you talking about…?" was all he could mumble as he stared at the getaway.

As soon as the other called back to him, he snapped out of it and gave chase.

”GIVE IT BACK!“ he shouted, giving chase as fast as his body could take him. He wasn’t worried about police; property damage in Toontown was no big deal, and the jails were practically made of tin.

That cart, and those toolboxes, however…

Those were his.

Arz fell and fell and fell and fell and–

SNAP

Not only did he go through the tiny trampoline, but he sent springs flying everywhere at dangerous speeds. It went into logs, into flower fields, one even stuck itself into the edge of the hole. Thankfully, none seemed to have struck the Repairman. Instead, it struck a branch and sent it tumbling to the ground. The branch then hit a random bird on the head, spooking it and sending it flying away from danger. What the bird didn’t realize was that, in its panic, it flew straight for the oni’s face, sending him into a confused daze as he flailed his arms about in hopes of stopping whatever was keeping him this way. 

He eventually gripped onto something metalic and relatively flexible, feeling himself come to a stop. Arz spit out the bird, watching as it fluttered away as he looked up above. There was a strange hole in the air, one that bore a striking resemblance to the one down below. The oni began to piece everything together when he saw the spring he held in a iron grip began to spring upwards. 

“Ha…?” was all he could manage before he was sent flying once more, this time in the opposite direction. His movement curved outward as he felt his body pivot to the left. Almost sadistically, he soared in a perfect arc just over the Repairman’s head before striking the earth, leaving a comedic outline of his figure in the ground. 

There was a muffled scream after the dust settled. Despite all the blows he took, Arz quickly got back up on his feet, throwing his fist in the air as he cheered in excitement.

“WAAAAAHOOO!!!” He yelled out, jumping in the air before slamming both his feet on the ground. They left somewhat of a dent in the dirt and may have caused a slight rumble, but he was too wrapped up in his joy to notice anything. “Hot damn! I ain’t ever had a ride that crazy since… Since I ‘unno how many years! This is better than any fancy screamer cart machine Sunshine and Roxy’s ever tried to sneak me on!”

Arz grinned, pointing a clawed finger at himself as he stared at the Repairman with red eyes.

“This’s a hell’va world ya got here, Tinker! I can get used to a place as lively as this!”

The Repairman flinched as springs were flung every which way. His body instinctively stretched and squashed in an exaggerated manner to dodge. Being blobbish, and ashamedly formless, this came without much difficulty.

He looked up at the now-suspended character. He knew what was about to happen. Still, he felt an old comedic compulsion to stretch out his arms in an attempt to catch the guy. As he flew, the Repairman rushed to try to assist him.

What the Repairman failed to notice was that the spring had been flung too, and it was heading toward him at an alarming speed. At least until—

“OW!”

His arms lay on the ground. How embarrassing.

Making passing glances at the crater to ensure his companion was still in it, he sprouted a couple of new arms and picked up the fallen ink. He didn’t exactly like being reminded of his formless…form, but at least he could pull himself together easily.

He had the ink cradled in his arms when he turned and saw the other leap out, nearly dropping it all when he landed.

“Aha, yeah,” replied the Repairman, frantically trying to get the ink back in him (or at least hide it), “it can get pretty crazy here!”

Following behind, Arz wondered where this strange person would take him. He couldn’t help but notice that the entire scenery suddenly began to shift. Like a slide show, the scenery of the empty city faded to one of bright, saturated colors. It was so surreal, like he stepped into another dimension all together. 

The oni stopped behind the repairman and waved his hands in front of his face. Even his movement was affected by whatever this place had going for it. It all seemed strangely less fluid, like he was faster than ever. Arz blinked as he took in the strange land. So not only was this a master maid, but also some kind of high level traveler to just walk through worlds at will. He was becoming more and more fascinated by this stranger. 

“So if ya can travel just by walking one way…” Arz began, cracking his knuckles before taking a few steps away from the Repairman. A wide, toothy grin lip up his face. “What’ll happen if we go down below?”

With inhuman strength, the oni punched the earth below and dug his hands deep into the dirt. Once his claws got a good grip on the mass of dirt, he ripped it clean off before tossing it aside. The hole below was deep and pitch black, something Arz wasn’t expecting really. Typically it would take a lot more than that to create a hole. This world’s laws of reality certainly were strange, even for him. Without a second thought, Arz canonballed into the hole as he let out a cry of excitement.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

Suddenly the repairman was left alone in silence before the oni’s voice could be heard from above, still thrilled to be falling so far. Over and over again the oni fell in an endless loop.

“… aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa….”

“… aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa….”

“….”

“….Okay!”

“I’m done now!”

“Shit make it stop!”

“I dunno, I haven’t–” was all the Repairman could say before the ground began shaking.

“Wha–!”

He turned around to find the other one had dug a hole in the ground.

“What are you…”

He looked down as the other jumped.

“…doing.”

He quickly pulled back, his gaze following the endless loop that was happening. It was almost hypnotic, really.

Of course, he snapped out of it as the other began panicking. He hastily looked around. He had left his cart back in…was it called Ooe? Anyway, he quickly saw a dumpster.

This would either turn out really well or really, really awful. He braced himself for the worst and opened the lid. He was pleased to see that someone had discarded some old trampoline. And it still looked good! He clambered in and picked it up. Judging by toon physics, he tossed it in the general direction of the hole and climbed back out.

He watched the other, seeing if the trampoline would work. It was a little on the small side…

“Probably better anyways. Means ya ain’t got much reason to drink yerself silly, huh?” He snickered, razor sharp teeth curling into a jolly grin. As the repairman explained himself further, it slowly began to fall as his eyes narrowed in thought. The oni scratched his neck as he tried to process this strange information. So some kind of superior being or whatever was breaking this wall? He leaned forward, resting his head on his hand. “Yer gods must be into some real kinky shit if they’re gonna bust down walls to spy on other folks when they,re alone… Then making one of their own clean the mess. Don’t think I’ve ever heard of more disrespectful shit in my life. Still, I can see why someone would follow that sorta ideology ‘n faith. Be hella nice to just knock on the doors of yer makers and ask fer some kinda explanation to the mess, no matter how dumb it is. Comfort in knowing, yeah?”

Arz paused when he felt a faint wind rush through the air. A nearby sign that hung above the door suddenly clattered to the ground from the force of it, its old chains finally losing its strength after years of abandonment. 

“Agh what a dump this dried out city is…” He muttered to himself, shaking his head. “Folks don’t usually stop by a place like this, not unless they ain’t got nowhere else to go. So what’s yer story then? Aside from master maid, I mean. Ya remember how ya ended up here or what?”

“…Actually, I don’t think they really do that much,” the Repairman replied. “It’s mostly the folks on this side that break the Wall.”

“…Comfort in knowing…” he echoed, mulling it over as he took another sip. He wasn’t normally the kind to discuss philosophy(theology?…artistry?…cartooniology?), but, what the hey, he was already talking about his job; why not go on?

Turning back to the other, he conceded, “Yeah, that could be it.”

He jumped a bit as the sign fell. Gosh, he never really noticed how deserted this place was. The Repairman was used to arriving after the fact, but this place looked like the fact’s grandchildren moved away years ago.

“Um…” he replied, rubbing his hand behind his head, “…I don’t really know how I get from place to place…”

He looked up, trying to think.

“I sorta just go in one direction. Next thing I know, I’m in the world I wanted to go to.”

Oh, dear. He really wasn’t used to asking these kinds of questions. Maybe it’d be best to show this guy.

“Something like this,” he said, getting up. He began sauntering in one direction, expecting to soon end up back in ToonTown, and then come back.

Arz looked to the strange contraption. Oh, these things. He’s seen them in Lucas’ bag.
“Eh, kinda big but it’s better than just using yer hands,” he added, before withdrawing the gourd that hung from his belt and popping off the cork. Arz beckoned to the Repairman as he moved to the nearest building, but instead of opening the door, he simply stood under a the remains of a broken thatch roof before plopping himself on the ground. The oni was generous with sharing his drink, perhaps a bit too much so. It was well over half full once the oni withdrew the container. Placing the mouth on his lips, he took a hearty swig himself before exhaling deeply. “Real shame that some folks don’t take up casual drinking more often. And I ain’t talking a full on party, as fun as those are. The fragrance of a good rice harvest, the smooth warmth as it goes down yer throat… It’s history in a sip.”
Despite his size and physically intimidating appearance, he handled his gourd carefully as he placed it on the ground in front of him. Red eyes looked over to the repairman, inspecting his features.
“Gotta say though, ‘Fourth Wall Repairman’ is kind’v a mouthful. And don’t make a lick’v sense to me… What kinda shady carpenters ya got in yer world if they don’t build four walls in a house? ” He placed a claw on his chin, tapping it lightly in thought. Eventually, the large man snapped his fingers as an idea lit up his face. “Imma call ya ‘Tinker’ from here on out! Whatcha think?”

Looking at his semi-liquid hands, the Repairman couldn’t help but agree it was better to have a cup. He considered this as he followed the creature to the wall, and sat down next to him.

“I don’t really drink that much, myself,” he admitted. “Or party much, really. Just didn’t have the time.”

While he wasn’t sure how he could possibly do it with any liquid, he took a sip.

He chuckled as the other speculated about the Repairman’s job. Whether it was the pride or the liquor (he was a Toon, after all), he was feeling a little looser about explaining it.

“No, no, the Fourth Wall’s what separates us from….” he began, considering his next words, “…the people who make and watch us.”

He took another sip as he continued, “Dunno what kind of house only has three walls, but that would get a bit drafty, huh?”

He coughed. “But yeah, you could call me Tinker. Not like I have a name anyway; what do I care?”

“Made fer it?” Arz mused, tilting his head slightly. He let out a small hum in thought before clapping his hands together. “Oh! I get ya! I got a buddy who’s made fer a job, too. So then if yer working on something yer whole life then that makes ya a master maid, huh?”
Arz hit the ground with the palm of his hand as he let out a full bellied laugh. It seemed a bit fast, but the scary face lit up into something more cheerful and vivid. His intimidating air suddenly became one of joy. The oni sat upright before leaning forward and looking down to the cartoon inkblot.
“I’ll be damned! Too many years in the land’v the living and I ain’t ever met a master maid. So? What they call ya? And what brings ya all the way in the middle’v nowhere? Hate to break it to ya, but Ooe’s kinda been off the radar fer a while now. It’s like tending to a dead man’s house at this rate. Yer better off saving yer tools fer bigger and messier jobs, ya know?” The oni snapped his fingers before pointing a claw at the Repairman. “But if ya got a glass in that fancy cart yer hauling, yer free to share a drink with me. Trust me, yer gonna need it here.”

“Master…” the Repairman echoed. The oddity of being called a maid escaped his mind completely, to be replaced with a sense of pride. He even found it easy to miss the joke, despite the laughter.

“I’m the Fourth Wall Repairman,” he replied. In any other situation, he would at least try to be careful with that information, but he was too flattered to consider that now. “I’m just checking this place, really.”

He looked around as the other described Ooe. “Looks like it. Gotta be sure though.”

Looking back up at the other, he realized a stop to the local bar might give him a better clue to the Fourth Wall’s overall state than just wandering around would. He dug into his blue toolbox and eventually pulled out an empty thermos.

“Will this work?”

thatgirlwiththecleaver:

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The eight foot tall oni sat in silence as he stared at the toon before him, narrowing his red eyes as he inspected him. Of course, he never meant any harm despite his suspicions. After all, while guests were rare crossing the boarders to world, they were never unwelcome by the tribes in the mountains. To see a newbie after so long was a nice surprise. 

But that didn’t change the fact that his bone crushing teeth, rock smashing arms, and monstrous appearance made him look absolutely terrifying. 

“I don’t get yer shtick,” the oni flat out stated, uncrossing his arms before hopping back on his feet. “Ya sure travel with a lot’v tools… Are ya supposed to be a traveling maid ‘r some shit? Seems kinda weird that yer willing to crawl through hell’s anus just to clean up a mess, yeah?”

The Repairman blinked in surprise. He had never been called a maid before; he was more used to either handyman-related names or inkblot-related ones.

Still, he wasn’t sure what this massive creature was up to (or even what he was, for that matter), so he decided not to press that issue. Even so, he had to say something to defend his job, so he said, “It’s easier when you’re made for it.”

Whether or not this was true, the Repairman couldn’t really say, but it was nice to think it was.