“—! Ah, yes. So do I. It was nice meeting you though!”

The VP’s head spun slightly to have his smiling face forward.

“If there’s anything I can do for you, pretty much anytime is okay. Okay, maybe not ANYTIME because I wouldn’t want you to get hurt by suddenly showing up while I’m getting pushed off the side of Sellbot Towers. Anyway, have a nice day!”

“You too!” the Repairman waved.

He pulled an extendable ladder out of his toolbox and began to lower it down the desk. This ladder was never too short for his needs, and this time was no exception. Map in hand, he made his way out of the Cog Boss’s office and into the game proper.

Shinko shook her head, waving him off. “Ah, don’t worry about it! You can keep it. I actually live in an apartment in Toontown, Disney district. So umm… if you ever feel the need to visit, I guess you can look me up. Or if you could probably reach me at my phone number if you have it. If not…”

She took out a notepad and pencil form her hammerspace, quickly scribbling a number down before handing it over to him. “There we go. You take care of yourself, Mr. Repairman. Don’t make me come back just to make you rest when you probably have a job to do!”

“Oh, all right then,” the Repairman said casually.

He took the number from her. Quickly reading it, he put it away in his hammerspace. He would put it in his other toolbox later.

“Don’t worry,” he replied, chuckling softly, “I will. This’ll probably clear up soon, anyway. Have a good shift!”

“Yep. Mayor Flippy. Usually we chat about current events and the weather, how our days are going, that kind of thing. Oddly enough, we never really throw any kind of stabbing remarks between us? It’s weird. Though sometimes we even play stuff like W.A.R. or go fish.”

The VP shrugged.

“Huh.”

The Repairman had heard of relationships like this. Technically enemies, but an amiable atmosphere between them. Not that this was uncommon, but the Repairman didn’t expect it from either side of an MMO war.

But, he would have to think about that later. He was starting to fall behind on his job, and his siren light was beginning to irritate him.

“Um…” he began, picking up the map, “This is very interesting, but I’m afraid I do need to get to work…”

“Hammerspace?” said the Narrator, confused. “No, I don’t believe I have… Is that a space with hammers? Or is it one of those ‘Homestick’ things?”

The incessant wall-stapling was beginning to bother him. He hadn’t included building repair in the list of activities one could reasonably perform within The Stanley Parable. What was this little inkblot thing doing, waltzing in like that, tampering with his game? The one thing he owned, in the entire world, and this Repairman was…

The Narrator decided, all of a sudden, that perhaps he did not like the Repairman very much.

The Repairman continued to staple, oblivious to the annoyance it was causing. His staple gun quickly ran out, however, so as he was switching to duct tape, he replied:

"No, it’s…”

He thought for a minute. How could he explain it?

“Well,” he ventured, the duct tape making loud tearing noises as he pulled it, "You know how game inventories are usually more spacious than you’d think? Hammerspace is the same thing, for Toons.“

“Certainly: I have tons of copies of them. GPSes aren’t perfect, you know.”

He opened a desk drawer and shuffled around a bit, eventually leading to his whole arm being in the desk part until he pulled out a box completely full of up-to-date maps of all of Toontown.

He pointed to Sellbot Hq, in the lowest left corner.

“You’re here. See, we’re connected to the flowery playground, Daisy Gardens, which connects to Donald’s Dock and Toontown Central, where the mayor Flippy is. I talk to him sometimes when he ends up being in the cage and it’s a slow day. Even then we still hate each other, but I guess that’s a given.”

The Repairman slid back as the box was placed onto the desk.

“M-hm,” he said, studying the map. A very colorful one, to be sure, with greys where, presumably, the Cogs resided. Interestingly, there didn’t seem to be any gradual shifts between places, they were just there. He assumed this was just th way the map was drawn.

“I see,” he said, after a moment. “What do you talk to… Flippy, was it? … about?”

She smiled sheepishly at his words. “I don’t know. I think you can be funny when you want to. But… I guess you’re right. Not all Toons have comedy as the forefront of their character. It’s just gonna be hard finding what else I can do…”

She blinked as she watched the siren light pop out. By now, she understood that he probably unintentionally created a crack somewhere.

“Umm….thank you for the kind words though, Mr. Repairman. It really does mean a lot coming from a Toon who’s been around for as long as you have.”

She shifted a bit awkwardly, unsure if she should try to stay to help for a little longer or if he wanted to be by himself.

“So umm…is there anything else I could do before I head to work?” she asked.

Even if comedy wasn’t what he would normally pride himself on, he couldn’t help but beam, with a muttered “thank you,” as Shinko said he could do it.

Picking the ice pack back up, he looked towards the small cracks he caused.

“I think I’ll be good,” he replied after a moment’s thought. “If you need to get to work, go ahead. You’ve helped a lot.”

He strapped the pack onto his head with some Scotch tape. He wasn’t going to have it slip again until he was feeling better. Then he realized something.

“Do you still live with your creator? I’m… not sure where I should go to return this.”

“Yes, it’s a night-themed area of town and a very sleepy little burg too, as you could imagine.”

He folded his hands.

“Cashbot Headquarters is accessible from there. It’s weird, because their HQ’s a train station, but also a massive bank?”

The cog shrugged. He didn’t get the whole train thing. Maybe the CFO just really liked trains.

“Reminds me a tiny bit of Gringott’s if that’s the name of the place… Haven’t read those books in years.”

“Gringott’s…?”

The Repairman had never heard of such a thing. What was that? Well, if it was just in a book, it probably wasn’t part of this game, so he mentally shook himself and continued:

“Actually, speaking of locations, do you have a map or something? It would probably help me get my bearings a little.”

“Ah, yes! I’ve heard of the other Toontown before, especially from stranger looking ‘toons’ I’ve seen come up here. It’s always a little surreal to see toons that actually are 2D and not just given an effect to look like that. Or characters that’ve been rotoscoped and look hyper ‘realistic’. Whatever that means.”

He looked at himself again and back at the Repairman.

“Hmm. Maybe I should see about going there if one of those weird greyfaced fairy things turns me into a bunny again.”

The Repairman wasn’t too surprised that the VP had heard this before.

What confounded him was the phrase “grey-faced fairy things.” What was he talking about…? The inkblot stared blankly at the Cog for a moment or two, then it hit him.

Magic Anons.

The Repairman could only recall two Magic Anons he had had to deal with. One had helped him have a nice break by creating a duplicate (who, last he heard, was living in Townsville under the name “Philip Gelatino”), but the other had turned him into a plank of wood that said “MeeM” over and over.

Needless to say, those things were a fickle bunch. He was personally glad he hadn’t seen any lately.

“Well, um…” the Repairman replied politely, “I hope you enjoy yourself if you ever go there. There’s certainly a lot to see.”

“Heh…well despite my…” She was about to say ‘reboot’, but decided to think better of it. She didn’t want to accidentally cause another break in the Fourth Wall.

“…despite my recent changes, there’s not a whole lot that’s going on for me. Basically I’ve been in Toontown, just trying to make a living. I don’t know what else to do at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll figure out something.”

The Repairman shot up in surprise, the ice pack doing a quick spin before landing back on his head.

“What?" he exclaimed, taken aback. Even when the other Toon disappeared for a while, he imagined Shinko to be the kind to find something great to do. He never thought she’d say "not a whole lot going on for me.”

“What happened before you were re–”

Smack.

The Repairman’s hand was suddenly over where his mouth would be. No need to make Shinko worry more here. Though, maybe he should be more gentle, given his current condition. As quick as that was, it smarted more than usual.

Composing himself, he continued, evenly, “I feel like I’m missing a lot. Where were you?”

Eight have entered the waters…

chainsxwsmile:

askthefwrp:

The Repairman moved as if he was going to speak, then stopped.

“…You know,” he said, after a brief pause, “I never counted.”

Thinking for a moment, he finally replied, “Over ninety years’ worth, I can tell you that much.”

He hoped that was a good answer. It was the only one he could come up with.

“Well,” the inkblot sighed, "it’s been nice to meet you, but…“

He tapped his siren light, which made a ‘tink’ sound. ”…I should probably get going. You sure you’ll be all right?“

“Ninety years? Crikey…” he mused, words trailing off in moderate surprise. “Aye, I reckon I’ll be fine. Ye take care ‘f yerself, eh?” the great white said, giving a solemn nod to the other.

He wasn’t sure what Bruce would do with this new information, but if he took the news this well, the Repairman was certain Bruce would do some interesting things.

“You too,” he replied, returning the nod.

With that, he started to row his way towards Free Country, USA.