rp – Page 54 – Siblings-a-Fixin'

“Oh dear… are you stuck?” Vio asked. He scanned their surroundings, looking for… some sort of portal or something, but obviously found none. “Well, I’m sure there’s a way for you to get home- or, wherever you’re going next- but to be honest, I haven’t the faintest idea where that would be.” He tapped his lips in thought again. “You did just show up when the… ah, when you were clearly needed, so maybe you’ll be able to find your way when you’re needed elsewhere?”

Green considered this. Brightening, he snapped his fingers excitedly.

“I’ve got it! You haven’t been to our world in a really long time, right? Things are really different, I bet you didn’t know that we had… what were they called? Oh right, cars and stuff now! Trains have been around for a while, but like a hundred years ago or so technology just like, exploded and the world changed super fast. We could show you around, and you can see what’s new and all!” he rambled, pacing around in excitement.

“That would be fun! Although if we are going to give you a tour, we should probably go get Sparky, since he knows New Hyrule better than we do.”

“I… guess?”

The Repairman didn’t pay attention to the why’s or how’s until recently, but that sounded plausible enough. He just hoped Vio was right.

“Let’s just see, then.”

He looked at Green in bewilderment as he asked, “Wait, this place has cars now?”

Well, he did miss a lot. He just didn’t expect this world of swords, magic, and castles to get such a technological overhaul.

“Uh, sure, that sounds good!” he replied, on a lighter note. “But…who’s Sparky? Another ghost?”

I blankly stared at your half baked form, reminiscent of a melting wax statue.

“This don’t work,” I said, patting you into shape like a kid with a sandcastle. “You gotta be more tall!”

After a couple of rolls and twists, irregardless of your protests, you were molded to the likeness of our brother…..except for the feet. Or lack there of.

“I guess we can say you were partially dipped in a freak accident twenty years ago and never got your feet redrawn.”

We heard a few punches landing behind us and Greasy emerged with a wheelchair. “Sorry Mr. Swanson,” sneered Greasy. “You can get the Family guy animators to draw you a new wheelchair. Official police business!”

“Here,” Greasy said, “Sit in this. I guess we’re….ready to roll.”

-Smartass

“Ow–Hey!–What’re you–!?–”

The Repairman struggled and protested, but at least he was looking more like a weasel.

He cringed at the Dip story, but he just sighed and took the wig and jacket. Hopefully, this wouldn’t take long.

He jumped a bit as he heard the fisticuffs, the wig being flung out of place as he did so. It turned out to be the green weasel. Who apparently stole it from Swanson.

He was beginning to wonder if he’d be better off spending a day downtown. At least he’d have a form he was used to.

He clambered into the wheelchair, and tried to smile for the weasels.

“So, what now?” he asked, in a falsely cheerful voice.

Another minute of silence and they were at the exit. The light came in spots of rays shining through the pants that had been covering it. Like before E exited through the free space. Outside was hard on their eyes and they winced before pulling there hood up to help block some of it.

On the outside of the cave were tree’s lined along what looked to be a dirt road for a few feet then suddenly cut into asphalt. The leaves grew out and made a sort of overhang canopy.

E pulled the Pen out of the spirals of the notepad and begun writing.

‘Who are you?’ Was what they chose with first and showed it so the Repairman could see it.

The Repairman sighed in relief and awe as they left the tunnel. Still, even his painted eyes had to squint until they adjusted to the sunlight.

“Thanks. Never really know where I’ll end up when I enter a new world, y’know…?”

He looked up at the other, and noticed their discomfort in the sun. At least they had a hood.

He watched with vague interest as they began writing something down. As the book was shown to him, he quickly realized the writing was for him.

After quickly determining that this wouldn’t cause too many issues for his job (and that he was kind of sick of dodging the question), he said, “Oh, I’m the Fourth Wall Repairman. And you?”

Arz cracked his neck as he turned around to face the world. What he wasn’t expecting was the massive amount of property damage he had done in his moment of excitement. One of the springs from the trampoline had shattered the windshield of a nearby car, causing the alarm to blare obnoxiously. Cobblestone was tossed haphasrdly on the sidewalk, some of it striking a fire hydrant with the oni’s brute force. Water was pouring out of the end and spilling onto a street, washing some of the dirt spilled from Arz’s digging into the nearest flood drain. He stared at the disaster pensively until something horrific crossed his mind.

He doesn’t have this world’s currency.

Arz lifted the Repairman’s tool cart over his head with relative ease before looking down to the cartoon blob.

“Let me tell ya Tinker, jail ain’t a place fer folks like yerself. And if ya don’t want a record ya best run like yer life depended on it! Cause it does!” The oni rushed off at a ridiculous speed, though this is mostly due to cartoon logic. By the time the dust settled, he was already down a couple blocks. He stopped and turned to see the Repairman, throwing a free arm up in exasperation. “What I gotta carry ya around? Hurry up, Tinker!”

All the Repairman could do is gawk in shock as the other grabbed his cart out of the blue and started to flee with it.

“Wha…what are you talking about…?" was all he could mumble as he stared at the getaway.

As soon as the other called back to him, he snapped out of it and gave chase.

”GIVE IT BACK!“ he shouted, giving chase as fast as his body could take him. He wasn’t worried about police; property damage in Toontown was no big deal, and the jails were practically made of tin.

That cart, and those toolboxes, however…

Those were his.

Once The other was following E didn’t bother to turn around to look at him again. Conversations tended to fall flat because of the lack of voice, and walking and writing on paper was difficult so the best they did was lead and hope they didn’t loose the tag-along. E could only think how grateful they were that silence wasn’t minded.

The floor of the tunnel was soft and taken over by green and soft dirt that was damp but thankfully wasn’t mud quite yet. Nature had taken it and from the light fasting from the lantern their eyes could make out the walls being in a similar state of over growth.

It wasn’t long before there was light at the end of the tunnel and E pulled a notepad from the pockets in their jacket as they walked. E had every intent to ask questions once they we’re out of the tunnel.

The Repairman looked around, noting the overgrowth. If he had had a slightly different profession, he would’ve seen this as an affront. As he didn’t, he just wondered why this place was apparently abandoned, except for this person.

On that note, where were the two of them going? It wasn’t like he could see much, even with the lantern.

Finally, another source of light appeared. He turned off the gas lamp and began to feel more at ease.

As they moved towards the apparent exit, the inkblot could see the humanoid pull something out of their jacket. He pulled back slightly, thinking this might be the obligatory betrayal. But, no, it was just a note pad. Shrugging to himself, he got back to moving.

“Yeah…you’re gonna need a gas mask if you’re gonna stick with us!” I laughed as the little blob hurriedly pulled on a gas mask.

“And as far as where to….you’re gonna go undercover with us. Can you shapeshift? Or do we gotta mold you like clay so you’re weasel shaped?” I asked, holding up a greaser wig and a James Dean motorcycle jacket.

“If we could shape you like a weasel, you could pass for our 6th brother, Slimy. He was reposed to be in the movie with us, but he got cut out before filming began. He and our other brother Flasher got involved with the summer of love in ‘67 and now they run a yoga studio in Frisco. Don’t believe me? Look up the production art. Anyway, can you do it?”

-Smartass

“I-I’ll do it myself,” the Repairman replied, hurriedly. He tossed the gas mask, pulled a privacy screen from stage right and got to work.

Let’s see…fingers here…ears there…bend a little…feel like my arms should be longer…

A few moments later, he emerged looking vaguely like a weasel, despite still being fairly short. He didn’t seem to walk, however; he seemed to shamble as if he was still a blob, but he was still holding his arms out for balance. It was clear he was not used to legs.

His eyes were still blank, and despite having the silhouette of a generic Toon Patrol member, he was still practically just that: a silhouette.

“Will this work?” he asked, his new mouth dripping with inconsistency and ink as he spoke. He really hoped these guys wouldn’t want to mess with his form further. Yeah, being shapeless wasn’t great, but whatever form he was supposed to have, this was not it.

Green ceased poking the Repairman, blinking in surprise at the small patches of frost that had appeared where he had touched him. Huh- that was weird! He briefly wondered what would happen if he phased through the Repairman completely, but decided that it was probably best he didn’t find out. He didn’t want to do something like accidentally kill the poor blob, and made a mental note to be extra careful to go around him in the future.

“Toontown sounds like an interesting place! We’ll have to see if we can visit sometime. I’m not surprised we haven’t wound up there, though.” Vio shifted his weight, cocking his hip as he tapped his lips in thought. “Our world is really bizarre when you stop to think about it. There’s several parallel universes and alternate dimensions connected to Hyrule that we know of, and probably many more that we don’t. Not to mention, one of the previous Heroes managed to split the timestream into 3 unique branches, which is another can of worms entirely. It would take us a long time to sift through all of that to travel to another reality entirely if we were left to our own devices.” Vio spared a quick glance at the Wall to make sure that he hadn’t broken it again, but as he expected, no new cracks had appeared. He suspected it was because he had restricted himself to talking about his home world only, and aside from the split timeline mess, the parallel worlds and alternate dimensions were things they had known about while alive. Heck, most of them had wound up in at least one of the worlds during their adventures!

The Repairman found himself getting pretty interested in all this. He never thought to ask about how universes could relate to each other. Besides, this was far easier to grasp than fourth wall breaks in something like Wreck-it Ralph (the game, not the movie).

He turned to look at the recently-fixed Wall.

“No wonder it took a while for me to get here,” he mused. “Most alternate universes aren’t this connected…”

The Repairman had, indeed, visited Hyrule once or twice, mostly as a checkup. But…he felt like he was a little deeper in now. Just a feeling.

He began looking around rapidly. It was just his luck there weren’t other breaks happening in that moment; he had no idea which way was out again.

“Uh,” he asked, nervously, “There is a way through, though, right?”

‘ EGAD… ‘

He’s absolutely astounded by this – now came the part where he asked what the heck a blob was doing where.

‘ WHAT DO YOU DO BESIDES TALKING AND…

being a blob… ‘

The Repairman, still a little confused, found himself debating whether or not to tell this man. It was hard to tell whether or not it would cause an issue.

“Um,” he finally said, “I do repair work…”

E took a small step back, not willing to get closer to the offending light but otherwise looked calm. Hands were not clenched and shoulders didn’t tense at the action. They let their hand drop once the greeting was exchanged.

They nodded though, pointing a thumb over their shoulder and motioning behind them to the way they had just entered. Turning on their heels they took a step, then turned to the other giving an ‘are you going to follow?’ look before continuing forward again.

The Repairman didn’t think twice about the humanoid’s silence; he saw many silent characters before. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what her intentions were. After all, it was common for the nice-looking person to lead someone into a trap.

Still, it wasn’t like he knew his way around. And the humanoid might actually be nice.

He slowly moved forward, making sure to keep his lantern in front of him so he could see the figure. He found himself looking around a lot more than he normally would. He didn’t exactly need an ambush.

I rolled my eyes and watched him scoop himself out like sticky black gelatin and snapped impatiently, “I told you; we’re both! Gangsters with badges. We got the law on our side, then we sometimes break it.”

I put my hands in my pockets, only to find that a smear or two….or three of ink from the little blob got on my suit somehow. I scowled, and pulled out a small vial of matching paint and a brush and dabbed the smears over with expert skill.

“So are we gonna get this started, or are we just gonna keep yakking back and forth with each other, buddy?”, asks Wheezy, before he breaks into a coughing fit.

-Smartass

“Right, right.”

He winced as the pink weasel noticed the stains. He silently thanked his lucky stars that it was an easy fix.

He peered through the clouds of smoke that appeared with the coughs. Oh, boy. He was gonna need to produce his gas mask, wasn’t he?

The Repairman pulled it over his head.

“Uh, all right,” he replied, somewhat muffled by the mask. "Where to?“