Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending), this arrow seemed to have much more energy than the one before him. “Hup!” The arrow began dragging the Repairman towards Bowyetta’s door. “Come on, she’s just this way!” When they arrived at the doorway, the arrow pulled away to alert the others. “Hey Vinny! Bowyetta’s buddy’s here!”
Vinny turned towards the doorway. “Oh, Mr. Sir~! Maybe you can help with Bowyetta~ She’s not eating and her temperature is getting too low… Look at her face~! It’s turning blue~!”
Bowyetta buried her face in her blanket, shivering and puffing smoke from her mouth as she spoke. “Please to not be looking at Bowyetta…”
“Waugh!”
The Repairman, fortunately, was lifted off the ground by the enthusiastic arrow. If he wasn’t, then dragging him over there would have probably left a trail of ink stains to Bowyetta’s room.
As he brushed himself off, he muttered, “Her face was already…”
And then he looked up, and saw her puffing smoke, shivering, and hiding under the blanket.
“Um,” he started, not sure what to do, “y-your arrows are coming up soon. Beepsumu says she might have a way to speed up their fixing…”
He gave a hopeful smile. He had no idea where to start with Bowyer bedside manner.
“Wait, did you say you see people there? Let me see!”
Link walked past Sparky as he was pulled away, curiousity getting the best of him. He did end up seeing the three people on the other side. Their faces were hard to make out, but something caught his attention in one of them.
“H-Hey! The big one back there’s got the triforce on her clothes! What kind of–”
Before the hero could finish his question, a frying pan was thrown at his face. Thinking quick, Link ducked down, narrowly avoiding disaster. Before he knew it, there were an array of pots, pans, cutting boards, dishes, and the like being chucked at the hero in particular.
“This isn’t a joke you know you can kill–”
“Oh goddesses!”
Link had to jump out of the way to dodge the incoming wooden work desk. It broke into pieces once it struck the ground. Albie looked up to the crack in the wall, his face going pale as he heard the other shout in a strange language.
“What the heck… Is that supposed to be Hylian? What’s she saying?”
Link stopped when he heard a mechanical buzzing sound from the other side followed by paper shuffling. Before he knew it, a paper plane lightly jabbed his cheek, hitting the ground. Picking up the plane, he undid it and examined the note written inside.
You’re making things worse! Stop being a pain and help fix this mess you made!
“Alright alright! I’m going!” Link stammered, raising his arms up and taking steps away so to not look directly inside. Well, if they were that aggressive there, he figured it wasn’t worth the trip to wherever this was.
“So uh… I guess otherworldly beings want me to help you fix this somehow? What if I got a broom and swept up these bits that fell over and you just patched it back up with that?”
“Look I don’t know I just don’t want another table thrown at my face!”
I follow Albie-mun’s lead, and scribble a note on another paper airplane and chuck it at Blue. The handwriting is pretty terrible because I’m not so great with TP Hylian, but hey it was better than trying to translate to WW Hylian or to whatever the heck Light uses.
You boys better stop abusing the Wall before you give the Repairman an aneurysm. Go hold it up or something, and see if you can send the pots and stuff back!
The airplane somehow miraculously manages to glide right into Blue’s head. Blue grumpily bends over to pick it up, reading it as he rubs gingerly at the point of impact. His expression sours as he scans the note.
“Don’t get mad at me, I’m just trying to reign in all the crazy going on here! Everyone’s acting like a flock of newly beheaded cuccos and Light isn’t even being all calm and reasonable like he normally is for once!” he rages, puffing up like- “And gods dammit stop narrating me do you know how weird that sounds?!?!”
A new gap in the Wall tears itself open with a resounding CRACK at Blue’s last statement. The Hero at least has the decency to look sheepish, and quietly mutters to himself as he shakily levitates Albie-mun’s various kitchen supplies- leaving the ruined desk- and pushes them back through the gap in the Wall towards the giant girl with the Triforce shirt. The supplies make a shoop noise as they pass through the barrier, each disappearing with a miniature burst of blue light that tends to accompany Blue’s magic.
Meanwhile, Light and Sparky flailed as they tried to hold the gap together with duct tape. Normally they’d respect that this was the Repairman’s job, but they had never broken the Fourth Wall quite this badly before and there were so many cracks and gaps and holes in the Wall that it really seemed like an “all hands on deck” situation. Besides, once they had it under control the Repairman could just redo their haphazard work with something a bit sturdier.
The Repairman was far too focused on his work to notice the chaos around him just yet. He was, however, starting to notice the siren light (and his headache) intensifying.
It was strange; I could almost see the rift compressing to try and keep within the inkblot’s height. Was that headcanon true…?
I could only stare in astonishment for some time. I never expected the Fourth Wall to be broken from this side, but here we were. I wondered if Ceres was ever going to get proper sleep.
But on to the problem at hand.
I worried that were my muse to look down, he’d endanger the whole Wall. His job. The entire reason he existed. All so he could keep his title as the Fourth Wall Repairman.
Hmm…
Well, I could say there was an Ajax-brand Parachute Anvil still descending from the whirlwind, but that seemed a bit drastic. I didn’t want to mess with the poor blob’s mind through narration, either. Distracting him seemed like a good idea, but with what, and how long could I make that last…?
Ah, well. Maybe it wasn’t him I should distract, but them…
I stopped typing out these thoughts as I saw the Repairman begin to wordlessly shimmy down to where Light and Sparky were helping him out. His eyes did not leave the Wall, but he would have to see the ghosts sometime…
Now or never.
Hoping it would work, I blew as hard as I could, trying to push the ghosts away long enough for the Repairman to get by. He wouldn’t notice the fixed parts of the Wall (remarkably, some of the taping was already fading into it). Luckily, he still seemed deaf to the world around him.
I used his obliviousness to try to speak to the Heroes of Time.
“On’tday etlay imhay eesay ouyay!” I frantically shouted, praying this worked similarly to Hylian. "Evenyay ownay e’llhay ebay ettypray ouchytay. Arefulcay! Arefulcay!“
(Translated from Pig Latin: "Don’t let him see you! Even now he’ll be pretty touchy. Careful! Careful!”)
“OKAY I ADMIT IT! I BROKE THE FOURTH WALL! IT’S GONNA SHATTER INTO A MILLION PIECES AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT! GO AHEAD AND TAKE ME TO CARTOON JAIL, I DON’T CARE!” As the worm sobbed, Peter walked into the scene.
“Sorry about this, Mr. Repairman. Jim tried to break the wall so we could put the inbox for our blog, rather than hiring a professional. It wasn’t well put together, and the hole started cracking so we called you.”
“If you ask me, those Warner kids could make a crack twice as big and the wall would still stand.”
“Um…”
The Repairman stepped back a bit, nonplussed at the worm’s outburst.
“…I don’t think you can go to jail for this…” he tried to assure him. “It can get annoying, but it’s not technically a crime…”
As Peter explained, he nodded. “I would’ve come here anyway, but thanks. And, heh, yeah, they probably could.”
He did a double-take.
“Wait, how did you get my number?” he asked.
Ravio heard the bell on the door chime and some passing words as someone entered into the shop. Glancing up from the counter he put on his best face for the new customer.
“Welcome! What can I help you….with…?” he started full of energy, only to lead into confusion as he stared at no one. Well, no one in his eye line of course. No one people sized. Sheerow hopped to the end of the wood counter he’d been resting on and peered downwards to the little blot making its way inside. This also cued Ravio to look down. He stared perhaps for a bit too long. Yeah, he definitely heard someone speak when the door opened, but this looked like a chuchu. A talking chuchu? Or was he just hearing things?
“H-Hey little guy, people only, no chuchus. Go on, shoo! Shoo…?” It was a bit hard to try to scare off the perceived chuchu from defensively ducking halfway behind the counter and waving his hand in a dismissing manner. He’d pick it up and drop it out the door but one time he touched a chuchu and he was pretty sure the electric shock caused him to pass out for twenty minutes.
Sheerow, however, was staring more curiously at him, tilting his body slightly as he observed.
“Yeah, I’m wondering if you sell any hammers. The one I used broke–”
He noticed the shopkeep trying to shoo him. He only blinked in surprise.
“Um…” he started, pulling out a mirror and looking carefully into it. “I…don’t even…look like a train…”
He then realized “chuchu” might mean something else.
He turned to the nearby bird, who he saw staring.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, "I finally get here, and now I can’t even buy something.“
Jingletooth didn’t usually get this kind of alone time. Today, however, the rest of the girls had gone out shopping, and Jingletooth had the house to herself. Well, mostly to herself. Beyond her own manaiacal laughter and the dramatic music that seemed to accompany her everywhere, the concerned mumblings of her assistant Spackledorf could be heard, and even their pet Medical was providing a few dramatic squeaks of her own. And then suddenly, everything went quiet. “SPACKLEDORF?! SPACKLEDOOORF!!” Medical was the first one to burst out of the room and bound down the stairs, squealing frantically as she went. She puffed up in fear when she saw someone come down the stairs, but relaxed when she saw it was only Jingletooth. Except, she was covered in some odd purple goop… She stood in silence for a moment before pointing at the Repairman. “YOU THERE!!” She boomed. “Healer of Dimensions! Come with me, and you shall witness… MY GREATEST TRIUMPH!!”
The Repairman was just checking in. He was surprised to find no one was home. Hmm.
Well, that apparently wasn’t true. That weird doctor lady was apparently upstairs, but it sounded like she wouldn’t want to be interrupted. So, he just idly inspected the Wall, after letting Cat Slime out to look around. He figured his pet would be fine in the same house he was made in.
That is, until Medical came down squeaking frantically. Cat Slime quickly sped up to her and patted her back with one of his pseudo-ears, squeaking soothingly.
The Repairman looked up, concerned, and jumped when Jingletooth began shouting at him.
“Oh, um, okay…” he said, reluctantly moving to follow her.
“Huh…” Was all Ace could manage to say, even as he pulled the yardstick out from behind the rock again. He wasn’t entirely convinced he actually had anything to do with the yardstick appearing or disappearing. “Weird. Did I REALLY do that or is this thing just magic? Where did it even go? I know you said umm… ‘hammerspace”, but what IS that?” All the while he talked, Ace stared at the yardstick, inspecting it.
“No, you did that,” the Repairman replied, pointing at Ace. “You wanna try it with one of your things?”
He chuckled at the further confusion.
“It went to your hammersp– Think of it as the world’s most convenient pocket. Out of sight, out of mind, until you need it again.”
He paused.
“You know, come to think of it, it’s kind of hard to explain…”
Rosalina faced where the fourth wall repairer was looking at. “Ahh, this one.” Yes; he meant this giant mixture color of orange and yellow globe, located at its proper center position. “Do you remember these two green platforms you’ve asked me about? This giant star is where these two circled around it: the beacon.”
“Ah,” he nodded, being careful not to stare at those platforms again. His stomach was feeling better, yes, but why risk it?
He took another sip of tea and gazed at the beacon for a moment or two.
“Can see why you leave it in the open,” he remarked. “Looks really nice.”
He looked around.
“Um, is there a place I can set this? I probably should be getting back to work…”
The door opened, and a small inkblot peered into what he hoped was a shop.
“Um…hello…?” the Repairman called, being careful not to intrude. “Is…this the local store…?”
He took a cursory look around, and risked a step in. For some reason, no one was willing to give directions to a small, featureless, non-fitting inkblot around here. He just hoped that his lack of literacy in Ancient Hylian wasn’t failing him now…
“So…you’re the guy who repairs the fourth wall when it’s broken, right?”
Jim looked at the gaint crack on said wall, and back at the waiting blob of ink.
“Peter did it, I swear!”
“Yup!” the Repairman replied, matter-of-factly. “And I can guess why I’m here again…”
He shook his head at the worm’s feeble excuses. Given what little he remembered about this world, it really could have been anyone.
“Yeah, thanks,” he replied, without thinking. “I already knew–”
His bucket fell with a clatter as his hands covered where a mouth would be. He appeared to be sweating a bit as the crack got even bigger.
After that suspenseful moment, he sighed.
“I can see why it happened so often back then,” he remarked. “…But why the sudden lull?”
Beep smiled slightly. “Oh, would you? I think I might have a way to get these guys fixed up faster… And she’ll probably feel better knowing that they’ll be okay… Ah, I’ll be up in a bit.” She then continued working on the arrows.
“All right,” he nodded, standing up. He was more gentle with this arrow, having seen the confusion on the last one’s face.
He clambered up halfway up the stairs before stopping.
“Um,” he asked, to anyone who would answer, “Where is her room?”
Siblings-a-Fixin' 