Lousy Play

@wariowareweirdos

The lights flickered on as a small inkblot shuffled into the room. It was night, and he did hope that everyone was either asleep or out of the building. He would have a hard time explaining this otherwise.

As he crept up to the machine on the other side, he looked around to make sure he was in the clear.

He plugged the machine in, and immediately it started blaring chiptune music as Wario’s face appeared on screen, with the words “PRESS START” blinking below.

The Repairman looked at the controller with some uncertainty. He hadn’t really played a game before. He had been in video game worlds, sure (he was in one right now), but he hadn’t actually played one.

Still, he had to see if this was breaking the Wall, so after a minute of searching he pressed the start button.

“Sorry about that,” Shinko giggled nervously. “I mean, I know things
can get meta sometimes there, but I didn’t think it would be happening
so quickly…”

As soon as they reached the entrance, she opened
the door for the Repairman to follow. Shinko glanced inside to see that
Crystal and Belial had been chatting before they turned their attention
to the Toons.

“Oh, hey Shinko. Who’s that blob behind you?” Crystal asked.

“He’s not another shadow demon, is he? We already have a lot of those hanging around,” Belial noted.

“No,
no, he’s my friend, the Fourth Wall Repairman. I call him Mr.
Repairman. He’s a Toon, like me!” Shinko replied with a smile.

“Fourth
Wall… oh geez, was it because we were talking about Belial’s old
boyfriends? They were all from different worlds and different
roleplays,” Crystal replied, looking down at the blob.

“Eh, it happens,” he shrugged. He just happy for an excuse to be here legitimately.

As he followed Shinko in, he could have sworn he’d seen that woman before…He chalked it up to déjà vu

and gave a small wave.

“Heh, that’ll do it,“ he winced as she mentioned roleplays.

As he pulled in his cart, he stopped to look at the apparent owner of this cafe.

“Wait, are shadow demons an issue around here?”

“Waaah!” Having the Repairman on her head was starting to make
Bowyetta too top-heavy. Though she tried to keep her balance, she
stumbled over backwards, crashing into a pile of scraps on the way. He
managed to get them both out of harm’s way, but not without causing some
injuries to her back.

“W-why you having done that?!” Bowyetta
tried to pick herself back up, but her head was much heavier than she
was used to. “Be getting off of Bowyetta right now!” She carefully tried
to reach into her hair for something to get the Repairman off with, but
yelped as soon as her hand touched the odd mixture of synthetic hair
and ink that now covered her head.

The shadow took notice of this. “What
are you doing?! Get off her right now! You’re ruining her with your
goo! …No! You’re trying to take my perfect body from me, aren’t you?!” Two more arms sprouted from the shadow’s “back”, and she prepared to crush the pair.

The jolt caused the tongue depressor to snap in two, with one half on the floor and the other stuck between Bowyetta and Repairman. Clearly he would need something stronger.

“Are you okay?” he asked, as he pulled out a large metal spoon and jammed it between them. “Sorry ‘bout that, that thing was gonna attack!”

He wiggled the spoon back and forth, trying to get himself free. However, he soon dropped the spoon as he saw the creature grow a pair of arms.

After the clatter, there was a moment of silence as the Repairman dug through his hammerspace, desperately feeling for something to help. Seeing that their time was running out, he pulled out something at random…

“…A pogo stick?” he sighed, annoyed. This wouldn’t have been his first choice, especially since he was stuck on someone who’d be quite unwilling to go with this, but it would have to do.

He slammed the bottom part of it on the ground, and about a second later the two of them were sent flying through the air.

“Once a year?!” She laughed. “I can’t relate, fortunately. See, I don’t have to control every break in the fourth wall.”

Angie
put a paw to her chin in thought, and ran through the list of powerful
drink options in her head. Her eyes suddenly lit up, and she grinned
victoriously.

“I have an idea.” The coyote dashed to the cupboard
and pulled out the necessary ingredients for the drink. “What you’re
about to taste after I’m done is the most energized, action packed,
caffeinated coffee ever discovered by toon-kind. I call it, ‘The
Shotgun.’”

Sounded quite safe indeed…

“Don’t worry! I usually don’t offer this, so it’s on me!”

“Eh, that’s fair,” he conceded, unwilling to admit his sleep deprivation was mostly self-imposed.

“The Shhhhhotgu—” he yawned, “–un? ‘Scuse me…yeah, sure….thanks….”

He went to find a vacant ~~(not mun-related)~~ table, hoping he would be awake for when the coffee was done. He left the wad of cash on the counter, not really caring one way or the other. Besides, in any case, he forgot all about it. He just wanted some coffee.

Within seconds of waiting, he was fast asleep on the chair. His snoring was normal for a Toon, with a bit of bubbling in it. After a minute he collapsed completely and landed on the floor in a still-snoozing heap.

Insecure

Sileas took her sweet time with approaching the unknown beast; A giggle bubbling out from petite painted lips.

If
she must guess- by its distressed noises alone- then the puppet wouldve
said that the creature was a blubbering coward. Not that anything was
wrong with that. She adores the faint of heart! In all her time hunting,
she found them to be the most unpredictable of the harvest pool; And
therefore the most delectable.

Recognizing the language to be (nearly) the same as her previous victim, she clears her throat,

“My dear, must you hide?”

She tries to coo, but her voice cracks, bouncing off the walls of the
makeshift hideaway. It was nearly impossible to interpret the puppet at
times with her mangled vocal chords.

A human hand rises from its
postion on a jutted hip to sheild her eyes. The light was starting to
wear her patience thin…What kind of stunt was the creature trying to
pull?

“Come now, Cast away your light. You only
…make this difficult!”

With her three fingered claw failing to
fit in the opening, she fishes one talon in after the Repairman. It took
a few minutes but her claw finally connects with (what she assumed was)
its body. Sileas hooked around it, yanking it out into the sunlight….

“Ugh.”

A look of disgust flashes across her patchy face as she tried to flick some black…something off her beautiful purple nail.

The Repairman heard something else entirely. He stopped shaking and looked at this thing in confusion.

“Mush will try?” he asked. “What does that mean?”

He was quick to shrink back, however, when he remembered what he was talking to.

“U-um,” he stammered, trying to cover his siren light, “I-i can’t t-turn it off unt-til…”

He trailed off, glimpsing at the crack in the Wall. An idea was starting to form….

“Waugh!”

He looked around desperately for an escape as the thing clawed for him, but there was none. He yelped as the claw went right into him and scooped a small part of him out.

As the…person?…was occupied with flicking the ink off her finger, he cleared his throat.

“…Y-you wanted to know about that, uh, ‘magic gate’?” he asked, hoping that would buy him some time.

“EEEK!” Bowyetta screeched as soon as she felt something land on her
head. It wasn’t long before she realized what it was. “Get off!” She
tried to shake the Repairman off her head. “You are trying to be
drowning Bowyetta!”

The blob creature wasn’t happy with Bowyetta’s squirming. “Stop it, both of you!” It said, swinging its arm to slam them both into the ground.

The
impact caused Bowyetta’s head to get quite stuck in the Repairman’s
body, but she continued trying to shake him off blindly. “B-Bowyetta
cannot seeing of anything! Be getting off of her right now!”

She didn’t see that the shadow was rearing up for another attack.

“Oh, sorry– what? No, I’m trying to–”

WHAM!

The Repairman saw stars for a few seconds, and when he shook them off, he saw that he was quite stuck on Bowyetta’s head. From the way she was hollering, he was apparently over her eyes.

“Oh, sorry,” he grunted, trying to pull himself off. No dice; he needed something to pry himself off with.

As he pulled out a tongue depressor, he saw that the monster was about to attack again. His eyes widened.

“Move back move back!” he shouted, frantically shifting his weight in hopes Bowyetta would move away in time.

Black, White, and Purple

“I knew you’d understand so once you are done fixing this mountain
you and I can do something fun.” Shalbie said to the repairman before
looking to the sides to see if they had company. Once the shadow noticed
they where alone he returned his attention to his shadowy companion
with a smile .

“ ˥lǝʍ

puǝᴉɹɟ

ǝɔuᴉs

noʎ

ǝɹǝʍ

ʎluᴉɐʇɹǝɔ

ʇsnɾ

ʇɥƃnoɹq

oʇ ǝlnɹʎH,
noʎ

ʎlqɐqoɹd

ǝʌɐɥ

ou

ɐǝpᴉ ʇɐɥʍ ǝʍ sʍopɐɥs uɐɔ op ɹoɟ
ɹɐq unɟ. ┴nq ʇsnɾ ʞɔᴉʇs oʇ ʎɯ ǝpᴉs puɐ ll’noʎ ʎlʞɔᴉnb. ɹoɟ sɹǝʇɹɐʇs ǝʍ plnoɔ oƃ oʇ ǝɥʇ ʞlᴉɯ

ɹɐq

.” Shadow commented on Shadow speak as he realized that maybe all
this confusion started because Shalbie had been addressing the Shadow
Blacksmith in light form Hylian.

“…yeah…” the Repairman replied, absently, before noticing that he was suddenly being spoken to upside-down. He turned around, dropping the roll as he finished up this patch.

“–ew yhw ,mU” he began. Realizing his issue, he cleared his throat.

“ǝsnɔS, ǝɯ’ ʇud ʎɥʍ ǝɹɐ ǝʍ pnᴉʞlɐʇ ǝʞᴉl sᴉɥʇ¿” he asked, hoping he was speaking correctly (at least, enough to be understandable).

He took a minute to think. Maybe they just got off on a very bad foot… He didn’t have to like the guy, but a milk bar might be nice.

“ʎɐʍʎu∀’ ɥn˙˙˙ǝɹns˙ I˙˙˙ssǝnƃ I uɐɔ oƃ oʇ ɐ ʞlᴉɯ bɐɹ…“

bonkakira-and-friends:

“No, I don’t think so, I was just wondering.”

He looked at the recently repaired arrows.

“You guys going to go see Bowyetta?” he asked. “And how’s the food going?”

“Oh! Is Bowyetta awake?” One of the arrows asks. “Come on, guys, we gotta go see her!” An then it joined the others in clambering up the stairs.

Shortly afterward, Vinny came out of the kitchen, carrying the tray with him. “Oh, Mr. Sir~! Thank you very much for watching Bowyetta~ I think we can handle it from here, though~ But, there was something Bowyetta wanted you to have…”

He produced a small piece of some sort of red fiber and handed it to the Repairman. “It’s something to remember her by, Mr. Sir~ She doesn’t give those out to many people~ In fact, she’s only ever given them to Beepsumu and Bonkakira…“ And with that, he followed the rest of the arrows up the stairs.

“Oh!”

The Repairman quickly pulled out a sandwich bag and put the fiber into it. That just might be going into his safe of especially treasured possessions!

“Thank you! Now, where was I…?”

There were still little cracks in the Wall all over that had to be taken care of. Realizing he was behind schedule, he pulled out several rags and began plugging each hole as fast as possible. Within minutes, the rags and cracks faded.

He took a moment to catch his breath, and waved goodbye as he went out the door to head to some kind of stick figure animation.

askthegreenguys:

askthefwrp:

ashadowbetweenworlds:

bonkakira-and-friends:

askthegreenguys:

askthefwrp:

@alinkbetweenportraits @askthegreenguys @bonkakira-and-friends

A few moments later, the Repairman came strolling down. He seemed unusually cheerful, bobbing his head from side to side and humming “Who Stole the Kishka” to himself.

“Oh hey,” he called out, waving to Beep, Light, and Albie. “How are you guys—”

He stopped, realizing two things. One, Beepsumu was in a tear in the void, and wasn’t part of this world anyhow. Two, the break in the Wall he was coming to fix was amongst all of them.

“…All right,” he sighed, “what happened?”

//shit, who do I reblog this from?

“Um, I don’t know, but maybe we should be going now…”

//and pass up all this nonsensical fun? Ha!

“Um- I don’t think that’s a good idea!”

//Mun chucks a pile of lit firecrackers into the group. Also, there is a copious lack of chicken dancing going on. Light, entertain me!

“No”

//too bad!

Light starts chicken dancing, as do all the other ghost heroes with aversions to certain bird species.

It was then that Susumu realized she could do anything that she wanted.

“Hey, Misfits! I feel like making a dance group, and you’re gonna join me!”

“Sorry, Susumu, I’d love to, but I’ve gotta fix this tear…”

“TOO LATE”

It wasn’t long before Susumu and the Misfits were back in their Heishi outfits, dancing about to some sort of J-Pop music.

[[Chickens huh this give me an idea, Shalbie hold this]]

“ Why am I holding a Cucco?”

[[Not just any cucco its an angry cucco, that was woken up thanks to Loafus’s attack on Albie, have fun!]]

“Why did you bring an angry cucco into this?”

“ wait I’m a shadow Cuccos can’t harm shadows!”

[[You sure? because look at this little guy over here…]]

“Huh?…”

“clu..clu… Cluck!”

“No way…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

both cuccos are now loose

Little did the Repairman know that it wasn’t a nondescript, copyright-free liquor in that bottle, but something from a magic shop from who-knows-where. Were he more willing to inspect the “XXX” label, he would see it was a sticker obscuring the actual name: “Potion of Kiroh Siin”.

After taking a few sips from the brown bottle, the inkblot failed to notice that he wasn’t getting any less sober and a faint bit of mist was emanating from his head.

“Well, here goes.”

And then, somehow, the legless blob thing tripped on his way over to Albie. Upon impact with the ground, he let out an “oof” and a fireball flew from his hand into a nearby wall, adding even MORE fire to the already firecracker-and-bird-infested problem.

Somewhere in the distance, a table giggled to itself.

//Now why didn’t I think of that? Hey boys, the ghosts of cuccos past have a bone to pick with you.

Suddenly, a whole flock of angry ghostly cuccos appear and start chasing after the boys, murder in their beady eyes.

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!”

*high pitched squeak*

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

//Hey Susumu, I think you need confetti canons for your dance group. Here!

*confetti canons poof into existence and start launching enough confetti into the air to put NYC on New Year’s to shame*

Hmm…now the Repairman’s new fire powers seemed kind of… quaint. Now I need some ideas…

Hmmm…

Oh! Suddenly, the Repairman has bird seed mixed in his ink, and retroactively, the potion was laced with Susumu-brand Carrot Pox Poison.

As several of the birds began to pursue and peck at the inkblot, all he saw were several tiny cake mixers trying to stir him away.

He threw fireballs everywhere, trying to scream for help, but all that came out was “CARAMEL STOPWATCHES FLOAT NEAR THAILAND AT 3 PM!!!!”

ashadowbetweenworlds:

bonkakira-and-friends:

askthegreenguys:

askthefwrp:

@alinkbetweenportraits @askthegreenguys @bonkakira-and-friends

A few moments later, the Repairman came strolling down. He seemed unusually cheerful, bobbing his head from side to side and humming “Who Stole the Kishka” to himself.

“Oh hey,” he called out, waving to Beep, Light, and Albie. “How are you guys—”

He stopped, realizing two things. One, Beepsumu was in a tear in the void, and wasn’t part of this world anyhow. Two, the break in the Wall he was coming to fix was amongst all of them.

“…All right,” he sighed, “what happened?”

//shit, who do I reblog this from?

“Um, I don’t know, but maybe we should be going now…”

//and pass up all this nonsensical fun? Ha!

“Um- I don’t think that’s a good idea!”

//Mun chucks a pile of lit firecrackers into the group. Also, there is a copious lack of chicken dancing going on. Light, entertain me!

“No”

//too bad!

Light starts chicken dancing, as do all the other ghost heroes with aversions to certain bird species.

It was then that Susumu realized she could do anything that she wanted.

“Hey, Misfits! I feel like making a dance group, and you’re gonna join me!”

“Sorry, Susumu, I’d love to, but I’ve gotta fix this tear…”

“TOO LATE”

It wasn’t long before Susumu and the Misfits were back in their Heishi outfits, dancing about to some sort of J-Pop music.

[[Chickens huh this give me an idea, Shalbie hold this]]

“ Why am I holding a Cucco?”

[[Not just any cucco its an angry cucco, that was woken up thanks to Loafus’s attack on Albie, have fun!]]

“Why did you bring an angry cucco into this?”

“ wait I’m a shadow Cuccos can’t harm shadows!”

[[You sure? because look at this little guy over here…]]

“Huh?…”

“clu..clu… Cluck!”

“No way…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

both cuccos are now loose

Little did the Repairman know that it wasn’t a nondescript, copyright-free liquor in that bottle, but something from a magic shop from who-knows-where. Were he more willing to inspect the “XXX” label, he would see it was a sticker obscuring the actual name: “Potion of Kiroh Siin”.

After taking a few sips from the brown bottle, the inkblot failed to notice that he wasn’t getting any less sober and a faint bit of mist was emanating from his head.

“Well, here goes.”

And then, somehow, the legless blob thing tripped on his way over to Albie. Upon impact with the ground, he let out an “oof” and a fireball flew from his hand into a nearby wall, adding even MORE fire to the already firecracker-and-bird-infested problem.

Somewhere in the distance, a table giggled to itself.