“Alright,
I see you dont mean harm.” He put the spatula away. “Also yeah. Ink and
tar are both black, kinda hard to tell. Sorry.”

“So why ARE you here? What needs fixing?”

Both the Repairman and Marie relaxed as Rustbolt did. Marie handed the zombie some of his parts, before picking up some more.

“Well…” the Repairman began, realizing there wasn’t much point in hiding anything. “I’m the Fourth Wall Repairman. I just saw that something around here was breaking the Wall, so we came here to fix it. And you are…?”

Beep narrowed her eyes slightly. “Yeah, I had a feeling…” she mumbled. “Well, it’s alright. Let’s just go watch the movie.”

Bowyetta
sat down on the couch, chatting to Mr. Sir excitedly. “You are having
seen Tippy The Gem Stars before, Mr. Sir? Is not being as good as Nise
Suta Heishi, but Bowyetta is still much loving of it!”

“…Hey Bowyetta?” Beep spoke up. “Why don’t you all get us some drinks or something for the movie?”

Bowyetta smiled. “Oh, well… Bowyetta is knowing the movie will be starting soon… But would much be nice to be having of snacks!”

As
Bowyetta got up off the couch, Beep turned to Mr Sir with a worried
expression. “Alright, Mr. Sir… Is anything going on with you lately? You
seem… Pretty distressed, and we’ve been worried about you…”

The inkblot shrunk back. Beep clearly wasn’t buying it. How could he tell her, though?

“I won’t need much, thanks,” he politely said, before Beep turned to him.

“I…er…uh…that is…” he tried, looking around desperately for ideas. He gave up, silently handing her the pink slip, eyes pointed downward. Might as well let the paper do the talking for him. Not like he mattered a whole lot, anyway.

Marie was pointing towards a stranger, her normally blue form white as a ghost, and her finger trembling. The Repairman looked at him for a moment, then shook his head. “…What? He’s just a rotoscope,” the Repairman shrugged. He didn’t seem to realize they were in the Roger Rabbit universe, or even to recognize Doom at all. “Sorry ’bout this, sir…” Marie was still trembling. “Nnn…” she stammered

doomedjxdgement:

Doom noticed the blue- well, extremely pale– creature’s reaction. Yet another thing that he scared, and he still didn’t know what everyone’s problem was. At being called a rotoscope, he looked at the Repairman with slight confusion.

“It’s fine, but…I don’t think I’m a rotoscope, actually.” He then looked at the trembling one. “Is something the matter, uh…miss?”

The repairman gently lowered her sister’s trembling hand, and turned back towards the judge.

“Oh? I’m sorry, stop motion then? I must say, you look very similar to…there,” he remarked, vaguely referring to the real world.

Marie stood up straight as she was addressed. Still sweating and trembling, she hastily replied, almost to the point of incoherence.

“Um, no, Your Honor, everything isfinewhywouldntitbepleasedonthurtus…”

The Repairman put a hand on her shoulder, gently trying to ease her back.

“Shh, it’s okay, just calm down…”

Medical gave a pout and a squeak of denial, in an attempt to state
that she was not, in fact, trying to compete with her brother. She then
gave a few haughty squeaks about how glitter slimes were so much
prettier than opaque slimes anyway.

“Oh, these two are a couple of
little divas!” Quartz exclaimed. “Medical’s a glitter slime, so she
loves to be treated like a star, and Cat Slime… I wonder if he picked
that up from her?”

Susumu sighed. “I don’t like the sound of that…” she mumbled. “And stop calling her a replacement, would ya? At least try to treat her like a sister.”

Cat Slime rolled his eyes at Medical’s protests. He’d heard it all before, and it was just as dumb as when she first started ranting about her superiority.

~~Not that he was like that, of course…~~

He couldn’t deny that the star’s life was a good one, and he was very grateful to have a cute, marketable form. But still, he didn’t think that meant anything without loving others.

Marie hugged both of them slightly tighter. If they weren’t slimes, it would start to be uncomfortable.

“Yes, you;re both so cute! You are! You are!”

* * *

“Hey, I’m not going to do anything to her! I was just saying I think I know how to deal with this!”

Granted, it was basically depriving her of her job by relegating her to supervision, but the Repairman didn’t think of it that way. All he knew was it would keep her from taking his job.

The Repairman sighed.

“I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t hold it against the lil’ upstart too much.”

He looked back in the distance, where he could barely see the others.

“…It might be nice having another companion with me.“

Slowly, he began to move back over there. Maybe he could get a second shot at his first impression.

Black, White, and Purple

“Well I thought it was the blacksmith, but under closer inspection
and realizing ho you take pride on stuff like your work and your being,
I’m going to say you are the shadow of……” Shalbie said as he began to
think who could the repairman be a shadow of.

“Ofala! That’s
who you are a shadow, how couldn’t I get it sooner? You like to do
things alone, you have your temper so does he and the most obvious
thing is that he has the biggest ego of Hyrule, that alone would cause
his shadow, I mean you to be a darker shade.” Shalbie added in
excitement as he finally figured out who the repairman was a
counterpart of. “but trust me you don’t want to meet the guy, you are
better off not knowing him, and he is better of not knowing you exist.
It would only cause a scene here in Kakariko a scene that could be heard
up to the summit of Death Mountain.”

“…yeah, thanks,” the Repairman muttered. Being called the dark side of a huge ego wasn’t exactly a high compliment.

“…What does this Osfala guy do?” he asked, after a moment’s thought. Maybe he could disprove it that way…

At this point, he had a noticeable milk mustache, and he was starting to feel a little sluggish as he was slightly chilled. Not only that, but he had forgotten that milk in worlds like these was treated like kid-friendly liquor. He was feeling slightly buzzed, but shook it off. Milk didn’t do that! He was fine!

Rocky understood he was trying avoiding that subject, and decided to ignore the whole thing and go straight to next one.

“Well,
things’ve been doin’ fine here ‘round Frostbite Falls; those Dreamworks
folks have been treatin’ us better than I thought they would…”

“…but
I’m not sure whatcha mean by over ten years. Didja’ forget our short
film from three years back? Heck, I think the fourth wall cracks are
still there, even.”

Rocky points at the wall, and indeed there were a few cracks, aswell as some dust and spiderwebs surrounding it.

“Dreamworks, huh?” the Repairman echoed, casually slapping a Band-Aid over that small crack.

“Whoa, what?!” he exclaimed, rapidly turning to face the neglected cracks. “How did–?”

He sighed. No point whining or making excuses.

“Well, I guess I gotta get this thing checked,” he muttered, unscrewing the bulb from his siren light and setting it aside. He began to dig for a feather duster, but someone tapped on his shoulder.

Marie held the duster in one hand and pointed to the Wall with the other. The cracks were still there, but she left the Wall sparkling clean there.

The Repairman jumped back, startled.

“I…I thought you were looking out for those spies!”

“There are no spies to see,” Marie replied, irritably. “Just…thought I’d help out here a little…”

A Fourth Wall Exploit

thefoilverse:

@askthefwrp

Juna sat on top of the huge wall of TVs surrounding her divine realm.

She saw this inkblot she’d seen from time and time again to fix a few cracks she’d seen appearing a lot show up.

“Oh, you again.” Juna said, looking at the inkblot, though it was hard to tell because her hair always covered her eyes. She then flashed a wide smile. “Can’t you leave a godlike in peace?”

“…Only if you leave the Wall alone,” the Repairman muttered, absently fixing cracks here and there.

“…Wait…” a female voice called, from behind a TV, “…You know this goddess? She knows you?!”

She came out, revealing a smaller blue blob with an oversized green bow.

The Repairman shrugged.

“Had to come here a couple times, why?”

“She’s a godlike!” Marie shrieked. “You don’t just waltz into a place like this! What if you get smote?!”

itisdangeroustogoalone:

@askthefwrp

Link hummed as he fished in the river, waiting for a catch. It probably would have been easier to buy some fish at the market in town earlier in the daybut he really didn’t have the rupees for it. All he had was maybe 20 rupees in total, and that was definitely not enough for a meal. Most meats cost 150 rupees, or more, especially if it was red meat. There was so little to go around in Hyrule that he usually just resorted to fishing. Sometimes he got sick of it but well, if you’re hungry and it’s free, why not? Food is food.

Of course, he had to fish at night, in the day time, the Zora were out and about and ready to drag him down into the depths as their own personal entree. So here he sat, fire crackling next to him and hoping something would bite onto his empty hook. Preferably soon.

On the other side of the river, two blobs were also looking into the water.

“…C’mon,” Marie protested, “can’t we just get different tools-”

“I spent over sixty years getting all of those,” the Repairman replied, irritably shifting his grip on the fishing pole. “I’m getting my stuff back!”

Luckily, only the red toolbox fell into the water. Not only was Cat Slime safely in the blue toolbox, but so was a fishing rod and an oversized horseshoe magnet. It was only a matter of time before he had to see how many fish he’d have to evict from his tools.

Twang!

It felt like the magnet caught on something! The Repairman pulled back, reeling as hard as he could, but he seemed to be having trouble as he slid closer to the edge. Marie grabbed him, and together they yanked hard.

The red Denpa quickly led Susumu and the pink Denpa down the hole.
“Come on, you two!” She said, pulling them inside. “The cold is
especially bad for you two!”

The white-haired Denpa didn’t want to
follow, but she was dragged down by the Denpa with shades. She then
looked up at Cat Slime. “If you don’t want to eat us, then… Why are you
helping us?” she asked. “I thought you didn’t want us here. I thought
you were going to let us freeze!”

Susumu, meanwhile, took a look
around the place, keeping her ears held in her hands. “So, uh… This is
your place, huh?” She tried to make conversation. “It’s… Something, I’ll
tell you. What do you do for fun around here? I think we could use some
cold water or something… And, uh, sorry, I have to keep my ears
covered. If they touch anything then all my friends will be swarming
here… It’s kind of a thing we Denpa-Men have, you know?”

Cat Slime squeaked, shaking his head. As much as he didn’t want random invaders stealing his food, that didn’t mean they deserved starvation or freezing to death.

He beckoned to them, as his home was not this tunnel, but rather down this tunnel. Moving forward, he made it to the door of his pet house. The motion-sensitive lights came on, revealing a living room that had green walls with yellow swirls decorating it, a flatscreen TV and several slime-friendly inflatable couches.

He squeaked a “Ta-dah!” tune, and turned to see their reactions, before heading to the kitchen to get them some water.

[[Continued from here]]

“That’s fair,” the Repairman nodded at the shade. Animated skeletons
were nothing new to him; he was just surprised to find one of the Links
as one.

He was just putting the finishing touches on the fix when it suddenly burst, sending him flying back several feet. When he looked up, he immediately tried to avert his eyes from the real things that were appearing. Already, he was sweating, backing away, and trying hard not to scream.

“I…I…” he stammered, quickly falling silent as the mun spoke.

B-blood? Broken bones? Did…Did she…?…I don’t even wanna KNOW what’s in that envelope!

The inkblot, in spite of himself, was openly gawking as she moved on to Wind. He was just as confused as when she talked to Light.

“St-stop!” he finally managed, weakly. No one deserved anything like this…

And then she turned to him.

“Spu…Specifically requested?” he whimpered.

Lucky me…

The inkblot shook even harder as she revealed the Dip. He pulled out a paper bag and started to hyperventilate in it. Thiswastheendwhatcouldhedowhatcouldhedo–

He stopped, looking at her confused. She wasn’t going to use it? Then why–?

Oh.

He swallowed. As she told him all this, one had to wonder what was going through his mind as he stared at the bottle in silent terror. He watched the swirling green and orange colors for an uncomfortably long time.

Finally, he silently reached into his hammerspace and produced a large bottle of bleach. Oddly enough, it had grey and pink markings on it…

He also pulled out a measuring cup, and began to pour some bleach into it. Satisfied that he had the right amount, he set the bleach down. His expression did not change throughout all this. Taking one hard look at the cup, he suddenly dumped it onto his own head. One could now easily see the “Brain Bleach” label.

He shuddered as the stuff seeped through his ink, but only momentarily. He had successfully forgotten the last half-minute or so of cruelty.

He looked uneasily at Clara, then back to his hand. In it, the bottle of Dip still remained.

“AAAAA!” he screamed, throwing the bottle onto the blanket. “Okay, I get it, I’ll pick someone I’ll pick someone pleasedon’thurtus!”

He leaped back towards the table and (with some help from Cat Slime) rapidly and messily devoured all the remaining food. It was all really good, to be fair, but clearly, there had to be only one winner!

“Uhm…” he said, sweating, “I really liked all those foodstuffs, but I think I’ll have to go with…Twilight’s machaca! But really, you should all be proud of what you made–”

Cat Slime angrily squeaked, pointing to his aunt Bowyetta. Everyone knew stuff made by your aunties was better!

The Repairman pointedly ignored him, instead looking right at the mun in the room.

“All right? No need to dissolve anyone today? Please?”

It was clear from his tone it was the nerves talking. It was also clear from the fact he was being a smart-aleck to the one who threatened him with DIp moments ago (or so he thought).