“That’s fair,” the Repairman nodded at the shade. Animated skeletons
were nothing new to him; he was just surprised to find one of the Links
as one.

He was just putting the finishing touches on the fix when it suddenly burst, sending him flying back several feet. When he looked up, he immediately tried to avert his eyes from the real things that were appearing. Already, he was sweating, backing away, and trying hard not to scream.

“I…I…” he stammered, quickly falling silent as the mun spoke.

B-blood? Broken bones? Did…Did she…?…I don’t even wanna KNOW what’s in that envelope!

The inkblot, in spite of himself, was openly gawking as she moved on to Wind. He was just as confused as when she talked to Light.

“St-stop!” he finally managed, weakly. No one deserved anything like this…

And then she turned to him.

“Spu…Specifically requested?” he whimpered.

Lucky me…

The inkblot shook even harder as she revealed the Dip. He pulled out a paper bag and started to hyperventilate in it. Thiswastheendwhatcouldhedowhatcouldhedo–

He stopped, looking at her confused. She wasn’t going to use it? Then why–?

Oh.

He swallowed. As she told him all this, one had to wonder what was going through his mind as he stared at the bottle in silent terror. He watched the swirling green and orange colors for an uncomfortably long time.

Finally, he silently reached into his hammerspace and produced a large bottle of bleach. Oddly enough, it had grey and pink markings on it…

He also pulled out a measuring cup, and began to pour some bleach into it. Satisfied that he had the right amount, he set the bleach down. His expression did not change throughout all this. Taking one hard look at the cup, he suddenly dumped it onto his own head. One could now easily see the “Brain Bleach” label.

He shuddered as the stuff seeped through his ink, but only momentarily. He had successfully forgotten the last half-minute or so of cruelty.

He looked uneasily at Clara, then back to his hand. In it, the bottle of Dip still remained.

“AAAAA!” he screamed, throwing the bottle onto the blanket. “Okay, I get it, I’ll pick someone I’ll pick someone pleasedon’thurtus!”

He leaped back towards the table and (with some help from Cat Slime) rapidly and messily devoured all the remaining food. It was all really good, to be fair, but clearly, there had to be only one winner!

“Uhm…” he said, sweating, “I really liked all those foodstuffs, but I think I’ll have to go with…Twilight’s machaca! But really, you should all be proud of what you made–”

Cat Slime angrily squeaked, pointing to his aunt Bowyetta. Everyone knew stuff made by your aunties was better!

The Repairman pointedly ignored him, instead looking right at the mun in the room.

“All right? No need to dissolve anyone today? Please?”

It was clear from his tone it was the nerves talking. It was also clear from the fact he was being a smart-aleck to the one who threatened him with DIp moments ago (or so he thought).

“Well, I’ve never taken care of a child before…” Quartz stated. “But
maybe Bowyetta and I can learn together, and maybe Beep can teach us!”

“And Bonkakira can teach her to protect herself,” Bonk added.

Barrette
looked at Cat Slime, twanging her string at him with a sharp-tooth
smile. She gently placed a hand on his head. “Squish!” she suddenly
exclaimed. “Squish squish!”

“Please to being careful with Cat Slime, Barrette,” Bowyetta cautioned her gently.

Barrette
nodded, before looking back at Mr. Sir. She reached into her hair,
pulling out some sort of doll that resembled Bowyetta’s Heishi dolls,
and gave it to him. “Can play?” she asked.

Cat Slime giggled as Barrette went “squish!” Her hand tickled a little, and that added “squish” was just more than he could take.

He seemed a little disappointed as Barrette drew her hand away, but hey, it was fun while it lasted. He watched, curious as to what would happen next.

The Repairman took the doll, and after a moment’s thought, smiled.

“Sure. Let’s see how this goes!”

***

In the Corrugated City, nobody knew where the giant feline monster came from. All the people knew was they had to get out of its way, now! Countless plastic civilians ran from the beast, who thankfully seemed more interested in tearing their buildings than their bodies.

The mighty creature let out a mighty…

“SQUEEEEEE!”

The Repairman held the doll a small distance from the roaring Cat Slime.

“Oh no,” he exclaimed, in a bad falsetto, “What can we do to stop this terrible monster?”

💭 AND 💬 FOR ALL OF THEM

[[Well…A lot of Internet-based pictures of dogs remind me of you. So do lennyfaces, for related reasons.]]

The Repairman

Beepsumu: “Older computers kinda make me think of her, as do some factory inner workings. ~~Don’t tell her I said that.~~”

Bonkakira: “Any mention of the apocalypse, and just things that make her ‘look’, like the sunglasses and the red tie.”

Bowyetta: “Slimes, dogs, and archery. Yeah, pretty obvious, but…”

Barrette: “Kids practicing archery. Yes, it’s that specific.”

PQ: “Well, whenever I go to Beach City, it’s hard not to be reminded of her…”

Medical: “…*sigh*…This sounds mean, but whenever Cat Slime gets prissy and egotistical, Medical’s kinda my prime suspect.”

Marie

Beepsumu: “Whirring motors and gears. Well, ones that work perfectly…”

Bonkakira: “…Whenever we have to go through an office party or nightclub or something, I wonder what she would think of it.”

Bowyetta: “White mittens and any friendly fanged creature.”

Barrette: “Bowyetta, and any kid learning words for the first time.”

PQ: “Outer space. At least, when Repairman’s not nauseous…”

Medical: “Whenever Cat Slime makes a cute face (which is all the time)!”

Beep, meanwhile, bent down and patiently scooped up Medical. “Now
just calm down, you two,” she said. “She’s not hurt, are you?” Medical
shook her head and gave a squeaky “no”, and Beep nodded. “See, the fall
just startled her, that’s all.” She handled Medical back to Marie.
“These little guys are kinda slippery, you just have to make sure they
don’t get away from you.”

“…Then don’t compete,” was Susumu’s simple answer. “Cooperate.
Show them that you can still do your job just as well as before. Teach
Marie what your job really means, and how important it is. Just please, please play along, okay? If you don’t do anything, then you’ll never get anywhere.”

Immediately when she was told to calm down, Marie’s bawling became mere sniffs.

“…Oh!” she exclaimed, happily taking Medical back. “…All right, I’ll be more careful. Sorry ‘bout that, Meddy!”

She adjusted her grip on both slimes, making sure both were okay.

“…Now, you were competing for my affection, you two adorable things?”

Cat Slime took a moment to react to this; he didn’t expect her to know. Finally, he sighed, and let one ear droop down. He pouted in just the right way to make himself picturesque.

* * *

“…”

The Repairman simply continued to lie face-down for a moment or two. Just long enough for one to wonder if he had even heard her.

Finally, however, he got up, arms crossed.

“…Never had to work with a replacement before…” he muttered, shifting into what can only be described as a standing position. Already, he was trying to think of ways to keep her out of his actual job. “Keeping watch” seemed a reasonable enough excuse…

“…All right, I think I know what to do,” he finally said.

“W-what you are-”

Bowyetta was horrified when she realized what
he was talking about. “M-Mr. Sir!” She screeched! “That is not much
being necessary! No… Bowyetta is knowing what must being done.” She
reached into her hair, producing some sort of spray bottle and a cloth,
and walked over to the shadow.

The shadow, however, didn’t notice Bowyetta, until she started spraying her and rubbing her with the cloth. “What you are-”

“You
are not needing to be saying of anything,” Bowyetta said rather softly.
“Bowyetta… Is understanding how you are feeling. We are not truly
wanting to be back with Smithy, are we? We are just want to be accepted
by someone. But we are not needing to be doing something so
extreme.” She then looked over at Mr. Sir, her eyes signaling that she
wanted his help.

“Aww.”

The Repairman looked disappointed, but he pocketed the drill anyway.

He watched, and one could almost see his nonexistent jaw hit the floor as Bowyetta began to…clean that cannibalistic thing?

“…What the…?” he managed, before he got the message.

Rooting through his stuff, he found a firehose. It was tempting to blast that monster into next week, but Bowyetta apparently wasn’t having that. Oh, well.

He dug a shower head out and stuck it on the end of the hose with a satisfying thunk! That would turn the forceful water into a more refreshing experience, to be sure.

He held the shower head up to the shadow, and turned the water on. Hopefully, this would help get the gunk off faster.

[[Continued from: http://alinkbetweenportraits.tumblr.com/post/163853285701/askthefwrp-askthegreenguys]]

“Um…”

The Repairman, of course, was not at all used to talking to muns. What was worse, he didn’t understand half the jargon Clara said. It didn’t sound good, though…

“O…kay…erm…”

He looked at the food, and suddenly wasn’t hungry. But if it meant whatever that totally normal and not fourth-wall-breaking voice was saying didn’t happen, he’d do it.

…After he fixed the new crack in the wall, of course. He set his fork down and picked up a paint roller, which was already slathered in cement, and moved over to the Wall. He would be quick, sure, but would he be quick enough?

Bowyetta nodded. “Is because Bowyetta is very much caring about you,
Mr. Sir,” she stated. “And Bowyetta is much glad you are liking of the
soup. Much apologies, but she was not having the time to be making the
noodles herself. Please to be understanding.”

She finished her
soup rather quickly, and sat watching Mr. Sir, waiting for him to
finish. As she went to lead him down the stairs, she continued talking.
“Actually, Mr. Sir, what you are saying we are watching of a movie
tonight? The Tippy The Gem Stars special Star Fake Revolution is coming on soon. Bowyetta is much wanting to be watching of it.”

But
once she made it to the bottom of the stairs, Bowyetta was stopped by
Beepsumu. “Bowyetta! Where’s Mr. Sir? What’s going on with you two?”

“Oh, of course, of course…” replied the Repairman, as he finished the soup off a few minutes after Bowyetta did.

“…A movie, huh?”

Well, not like he had much else to do.

“Sure! I think that’d be–”

He stopped behind Bowyetta, practically turning white as a ghost. He hastily put his hat on over his defunct siren light. He hoped he could hide the truth from Beepsumu, but doubted very much that it would happen.

“Oh…erm…everything’s fine! Just, uh…thought I’d stay here for a bit. Life’s been a little rough lately…Thank you both so, so much for taking care of Cat Slime…”

All five of the Denpas quickly moved out of the way once a path was
cleared. They certainly weren’t staying trapped back there forever!
Susumu, however, stopped for a second. “Thanks for saving us,” she said.
“But…” she tilted her head. “What ARE you?” She walked up and held out a
tiny paw to Cat Slime.

“I guess that means he doesn’t eat
Denpa-Men,” the white-haired Denpa remarked. “I thought everything
outside of Digitoll ate Denpas, but…”

Her eyes widened suddenly
when she heard that, however. “Wait, what?! A blizzard?! Does… Does that
mean we’re trapped here?! We’re gonna freeze, aren’t we?!”

Cat Slime hastily shook his head. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened (though, if the Repairman knew ahead of time, he would leave his pet in the Void for a bit). His ear twitched, and he squeaked a sound similar to “c’mon!” He moved a couple things, and descended down a newly-revealed hole in the pile. If they were going to stay, he might as well show his home off.

Medical gave her brother a squeaky huffing noise. Well, maybe she had
one last plan. She just had to reposition her body so she slipped
through Marie’s arms…

Splat.

It didn’t hurt Medical,
of course, but just for added effect, she started to cry. She couldn’t
make any tears, of course, but she hoped her squeaky sobs would get the
point across.

Susumu, meanwhile, took a closer look at the
printing on the card. “Do you seriously think that, Mr. Sir?” she asked.
“Because honestly… From the sound of things… It sounds like they
thought you might be lonely. Living alone, it… It’s alright, but… Maybe
they just didn’t want you to be lonely.”

Marie screamed when she heard Medical go splat. As the slime started to cry, Marie started to panic.

“OhnowhathaveIdoneImsosorryPLEASEDOESANYONEKNOWWHATTODO?!”

Cat Slime glared at Medical. This was low, even for her. As Marie shook, staring at the dropped slime, he patiently moved in front of her and squeaked that she wasn’t hurt, she was doing this for attention.

Unfortunately, Marie didn’t know Slime yet, and Cat Slime looked peeved. She burst into tears, thinking he was accusing her of hurting his sister.

“ImsosorryCatSlimeIdidntmeanto…”

* * *

“…Why would they make her an assistant then?” the Repairman asked. “Am I really doing that shoddy of a job that I need help? How long until she outshines me and just ups and takes my job?”

He flopped down on the ground.

“…I…I don’t think I can compete with a new blot…” he said, in a monotone voice.

Bowyetta stood up, checking herself to make sure she wasn’t damaged,
before she looked back at Mr. Sir. She honestly didn’t know what he
meant by that. She was a weapon, she had been created to destroy. How was she going to take care of a child?

Even
so… Barrette was still hers, and she didn’t want to see any harm come
to her, or for anyone to take her away. She stood up and walked over to
Barrette, picking her up gently. “Bowyetta is very much loving of you,
Barrette. But…” She looked at the others. “You will all be helping of
Bowyetta?”

“When I’m around, I sure will!”

He took a look at Barrette and smiled. It was surprising how making a Bowyetta tinier was an easy way to make her even cuter.

“…Hey, Barrette, you want to do anything while I’m here?”

Cat Slime squeaked and hopped down, moving towards her affectionately.