[[Seeing as how I’ve been on a bit of an SCP binge, I thought, hey, what if the Repairman was discovered by the freakiest branch of the government? Well, here’s the article (it presumes the SCP is live action or real, not the video games. That may get its own article). Putting it here because I feel actually putting this character on the site is too self-indulgent and doesn’t fit the tone well.]]

SCP-9802 – “The Fourth Wall Repairman”

Object Class: Euclid (Uncontained)

Special Containment Procedures: As of
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, there is no known way of containing SCP-9802. All airings of cartoons, comic publications, and video game releases are to be monitored in case it appears, and redacted until it is gone. If SCP-9802 appears in the facility, personnel with Level-2 access or above may attempt [DATA EXPUNGED] to contain it.

[UPDATE] It has been discovered that SCP-9802 has a blog on the social media site [DATA REDACTED]. Agent Davis ██████

is to moderate said blog, pretending to write for a character. SCP-9802 is to be kept oblivious to this.

Description: SCP-9802 is a sentient blob of ink, with two blank white eyes. Its style does not change with the medium, always appearing as an amateurishly animated (or just drawn, in non-animated works) inkblot. It can sprout or retract appendages when needed, and can stretch, compress, or even split in half with no apparent lasting effects.

It appears in any visual artistic form of media in which the depicted characters recognize they are works of fiction. Once it has arrived, it will produce either a seemingly random construction tool or a cart [SCP-9802-1] with two toolboxes [SCP-9802-1-A and SCP-9802-1-B]. It will then proceed to use these objects in motions similar to someone utilizing it, in a manner that looks like it is working on the screen or page. SCP-085 claims SCP-9802 is “fixing the Fourth Wall,” and expressed surprise that humans in three dimensions cannot see it. Indeed, much of what we know about SCP-9802 comes from SCP-085.

SCP-9802 can (and frequently does) interact with other characters in the world it visits. It knows many languages, though for non-English ones, it knows fairly poorly. When in an animated and voiced work, it speaks in an American Midwestern accent, with a voice similar to that of [DATA EXPUNGED]. In comics, it provides speech bubbles or captions similar to the ones the regular characters use.

While generally somewhat amicable to fellow artistic creations, SCP-9802 apparently has an aversion to real-life humans. It has attempted to pretend not to notice researchers, and is distressed when other creations acknowledge us. When researchers have undergone actions to make it obvious that they are there (for instance, drawing on the same plane as SCP-9802), it will similarly appear distressed, and SCP-085 has claimed that it has tried to rationalize these away.

As of

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████, SCP-9802 has appeared with a small, grey, cat-shaped blob creature [SCP-9802-2]. It is SCP-9802′s pet, and they are very affectionate towards each other. SCP-9802-2 has no anomalous properties that it does not share with SCP-9802.
It does not share SCP-9802′s consistent style, instead altering to fit the medium.

SCP-085 claims it is simply named “Cat Slime”.

As of

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████, SCP-9802-3 has been appearing alongside SCP-9802. It is a female blob of blue paint, with a green bow on her head and feminine eyelashes. SCP-9802 appears to be annoyed and humiliated that SCP-9802-3 attempts to help it, but nonetheless tolerates its presence, and has occasionally shown affection to it. While it shares SCP-9802′s consistent style, SCP-9802-3′s bow has, on occasion, altered into something more thematically appropriate (such as a holographic bow in futuristic cartoons). SCP-085 claims it is named “Marie”.

Document #9802-1: Interaction with SCP-085

SCP-9802 has appeared several times on the same surfaces SCP-085 has. While initially shocked at another moving drawing, she appears to enjoy having someone else to talk to, if only for a short visit. SCP-9802 has assisted her with her assembly before, and the two enjoy some conversation. SCP-085 has been very helpful in gleaning information about SCP-9802, usually sharing after it has left, albeit somewhat hesitantly. When pressed, she said “…Wouldn’t want to make his job harder…” SCP-085 has been less willing to interact with personnel since SCP-9802 arrived.

Document #9802-2: Incident with SCP-993

On
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– 20██, a new episode of SCP-993 was intercepted, entitled “Bobble’s Special Guest”. In the episode, Bobble the Clown was unusually cheerful, revealing SCP-9802 tied to a wooden chair. Bobble taunted SCP-9802 for a few minutes, then proceeded to attack him with knives, syringes, and at one point a revolver, claiming “this is what our friends in the audience want”. SCP-9802 seemed about as hurt as a regular cartoon character would be, and would not realistically be tortured or killed. Before the thirty-minute mark, Bobble finally threw SCP-9802 offscreen in disgust, complaining about it “not playing fair”.

“I’m Rustbolt. I own this pile of shit.” He gestured to the heaps of trash. “Well, PILES.”

“So something needs fixing? Maybe I can help?”

The Repairman tried to cover where Marie’s ears would be.

“Hey, watch it! There’s a kid here!”

Marie swatted his hands away, though, and quickly turned to him.

“Hey, I’m no kid! I already know those” *honk honk* “words!”

The Repairman shrugged, and helped Marie give Rustbolt’s parts back.

Both Marie and the Repairman nearly dropped the piles they were carrying as Rustbolt offered help.

“NO!”  they both said, a little too quickly.

Marie cleared her throat as her brother grumbled.

“Look, I appreciate it, but we’re going to be fine here. I’m assisting him, after all.”

She looked back at him, and caught his eye. He watched her like a hawk when she was near the Wall.

“…Well, I’m trying to, at least,” she sighed.

The shadow jumped as soon as the water hit her, but Bowyetta quickly
calmed her down. “Please do not being frightened! Mr. Sir is just
helping of you!”

Bowyetta continued polishing the shadow’s
body until all the rust was removed. “This is not much looking good…”
Bowyetta said quietly. She put the spray bottle and cloth back into her
hair, and produced a paintbrush and several jars of paint. “Mr. Sir,
could you please be removing of those extra pieces in her hair?” she
asked. “Bowyetta will have to being repainting of her…”

The Repairman nodded, digging for a comb. A part of him still wanted to solve the problem with an electric shaver, but for some reason he was feeling bad about that thought. Weird.

Well, the comb got stuck. As did the hairbrush. And the tweezers. And tongs. And crowbar.

Grumbling, he took a straw and shoved it into her hair. He took a very deep breath, and then blew. Everything in her hair came whooshing out at once, thankfully not flying very far before landing.

“Well…” Tippy took a look around. “All the cities are pretty far from
here, actually. We might not have a choice but to go talk to Kole…” She
shook her head at the wheelchair. “I appreciate the offer, but my wings
are still perfectly okay. I can fly myself there, but… Well, that’s the
thing with Kole. She kind of has a habit of… Turning people into
blocks.”

Her eyes widened. however, when she caught sight of Cat
Slime. “Aww, kitty!” she squealed. “What’s his name? Where did you get
him? Where can I get one?” She tried to bend down to pet him, but… Her
arms were still sore. “Ah… Y-Yeah… Let’s go talk to Kole before
anything, shall we?”

Cat Slime squeaked, unsure whether to beam with his usual affection or be scared of this other cat. Quickly, he decided on the former, smiling warmly at her.

The Repairman furrowed his brow.

“…Turn people into…blocks?”

Not that that was the strangest thing he’d seen, but he had to think of a way to make sure that didn’t happen.

He knew of one common way to counter magic like that, and he hoped it worked here.

Pulling a mirror from his hammerspace, he smiled at Tippy.

“I think we can help you there. Just show us the way!”

Link felt a sharp tug on his line and paused before trying to quickly
reel it in. Damn it was really really strong! Maybe a huge fish for him
to eat! Man that would be really great, actually! The more he tugged,
the harder it pulled, and it was like a war of wills.

“Come on–”
he grunted as he reached the end of his line, now he just needed full
force to pull this fish out. Link planted his feet in the dirt and used
all the muscle strength he had.

The Repairman chanced a look down, eyes widening as he realized he and Marie were still nearing the water. A strong, sudden tug from the line told him it wasn’t exactly going to slow down, either.

He grunted and pulled, but to no avail. He was going to fall in.

Marie opened one eye and also saw they were losing ground. Desperately, she yanked as hard as she could. The force sent the Repairman flying back several feet, landing with a splat!

“…Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times…” he droned, eyes swirling and stars circling his head.

Marie sighed with relief. They had more ground now, it looked like they were making progress, and neither of their blobby forms would fall into the water.

“Alright,
I see you dont mean harm.” He put the spatula away. “Also yeah. Ink and
tar are both black, kinda hard to tell. Sorry.”

“So why ARE you here? What needs fixing?”

Both the Repairman and Marie relaxed as Rustbolt did. Marie handed the zombie some of his parts, before picking up some more.

“Well…” the Repairman began, realizing there wasn’t much point in hiding anything. “I’m the Fourth Wall Repairman. I just saw that something around here was breaking the Wall, so we came here to fix it. And you are…?”